For two thousand years, that JeZus has been harrassing a long line of Santas. He even went so far as to tell the townsfolk of Lewiston, Pennsylvania that my great-great-great-great grandfather was a werewolf wizard vampire hybrid and he got burned at the stake whilst being blasted with silver bullets and riddled with wooden stakes slung from long-bows. it wasn't until christmas that the folks realized that they had been deceived and nobody received a single lump of coal that winter. many died from the freezing temperatures. the town turned pagan after being so badly betrayed by that son of a whore jesus.
my point is that jeZus is a rampant a-hole with a black heart full of bitterness and spite. oooooh... so you got crucified by the Romans. The Romans crucified EVERYBODY. It doesn't make you special. Just because you're the son of God, you think you can strut around like some omnipotent Paris Hilton-esque socialite with a bad case of teen angst. Well let me tell YOU something, jeZus!! It's been 2000 years!! get over it. you may have all the money and all the power and all the hot virgins in the world... but you will never know what love means. EVER. Because nobody loves you. They're all just too terrified to tell you otherwise. and you KNOW it!!
santaOUT
(oooh that felt good.)
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