TWEET TWEET

Hello friends.
I've been busy tweeting on my tweeter. It feels great to be able to type as much as I want again. 140 characters is not very much at all. It doesn't seem fair that they count the spaces. I mean it's just blank space! But I do enjoy the challenge. It's like poetry. It really is. I swear, Twitter will make poets of us all, just you wait and see. If you want to follow my tweets, just add Nicholas Claus (LonelySanta).
See how much I'm evolving, Helen? I'm a modern man after all. You thought I was just a boring old layabout who only liked smoking cigarettes indoors, watching reruns of the Joy of Painting, and eating cookies with milk (I do still enjoy these things). But see me now? I'm tweeting. Tweet tweet! Now I can read all the nasty things that Jesus tweets about me. What a total a-hole.
And you know what else, Helen? The Tooth Fairy took me shopping today and we bought this wonderful beef-like substance called "ground-round". Doesn't it just sound wonderful? Rolls right off the tongue. Ground-round. It tastes and feels just like ground beef... except it isn't. It's a marvelous concoction of vegetables, tofu, and various spices. You can use it in chilli or pasta sauce or anything you so choose... it really is quite delicious. And it gives me the most tremendous gas (or windy-pops, as Dave likes to call them)... very satisfying.
Anyway, if you let me come back home I'll make you a savoury Shepherd's Pie (Dave's specialty). Maybe I'll use beef... maybe I'll use ground round. Who knows? Let's see if YOU can tell the difference.